


all the times bare could have gone right

by thisdesksetwantstofly



Category: bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Canon Compliant, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Underage Drinking, don't come in here w your mlm fetishes and then call wlw ships gross, kind of cracky at parts, nadia is a lesbian and ivy is bi and they're in love, not relevant just wanted everyone to know that, usually at the end of each chapter it's cracky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:49:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23209555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisdesksetwantstofly/pseuds/thisdesksetwantstofly
Summary: i got into bare two years ago, and it still haunts me everyday. i can't watch the show that often because of how upsetting and triggering it is, but i've listened to the soundtrack at least 100 times. i would always find myself thinking of everything that could have been done slightly differently to prevent all the bad shit that happens in the show, so about a year ago i started writing a bunch of fix-its. so here they are. hope they make some people feel better :)
Relationships: Jason McConnell/Peter Simmonds
Comments: 19
Kudos: 44





	1. 1

Matt suddenly appeared, seemingly coming out of nowhere. Ivy and Jason both looked up as they heard him.

“Maybe he would love you, maybe if he weren’t that way, he wouldn’t treat your feelings like his toy! Maybe make you feel real special like I always wanted to, but he’s already in love with a boy!”

“What?” Ivy gasped, confused, naturally. Jason felt panic swell inside of him. As if his world wasn’t already falling apart. He was losing Peter, he’d gotten Ivy pregnant, and now his biggest fear: he was being outed.

Seemingly on par with Jason’s thoughts, Peter appeared. “Am I late?” He took in the scene around him. “What’s going on?”

Jason didn’t even have time to respond, because immediately after, Nadia barged in. “Jason, have you seen Ivy?” Nadia asked, followed by her spotting Ivy amongst the chaos, looking distressed and confused. “I guess you have.”

Jason turned to Nadia, feeling a bit betrayed. “You knew?”

“Only since this afternoon!”

“Knew what?” Peter asked, joining the conversation.

“Ivy’s pregnant and your boyfriend’s the dad! So what does that make you?” Matt spat out.

“What?” Jason was becoming increasingly in denial that this was happening, as well as being frustrated with how Matt was talking to Peter.

Peter desperately tried to backtrack, for Jason’s sake more than his own. “What the fuck are you talking about ‘my boyfriend?’” 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Peter!” Matt yelled, approaching Peter.

Jason pushed him away. “Get the fuck outta here, Matt!”

“Should I tell them what I saw at the rave?” Matt began. “Look, I’m not here to judge, just keep everyone on the same page. And, hey, I think I found that strong opening you were looking for in your speech!”

All Jason could think to do was continue denying everything Matt said. “Whatever, Matt, whatever you saw, it was a rave--”

“Ha!” Matt interrupted, once again. “Are you gonna stand there and deny it? I know!”

Jason couldn’t control his rising rage. He started pushing Matt, not stopping to think things through. After all, he rarely did. “Oh? You know, huh? You fucking know?”

Matt pushed back. This was his nemesis. Romeo. He always overshadowed Matt, and stealing Ivy from him was the last straw. “Yeah, I fuckin’ know!”

“Don’t fight!” Ivy yelled.

“What the fuck do you know?” Jason asked, still fighting.

Peter stepped in, pulling them apart and pushing Jason back from the fight. “He knows, Jason!” Jason furrowed his eyebrows, not understanding. “He knows because I told him…” Jason put his hand on Peter’s face and looked him in the eyes, trying to figure out why he would do that. “It was after Ivy’s birthday. We were drunk. I’m sorry…” Peter’s expression changed to anger masking the hurt. He pulled away from Jason’s touch. “No. You know what? I’m not.” 

“Peter, what are you talking about?” Ivy asked frantically. “Jason, he’s kidding, right?” Jason ignored her. “Jason?”

“Look, let’s just run the scene.” Jason felt that if he kept denying what was happening, if he didn’t let himself crack, then he could somehow get through this. He turned away from the crowd of his peers that had amassed around them and began reciting his lines. “If I profane with my unworthiest hand/This holy shrine, thy gentle sin is this,” he began. He turned at the sound of Ivy slapping Matt. 

Peter was watching, still festering with hurt, betrayal, and confusion. How could he be so stupid? Jason was too much of a coward to ever truly be faithful to him.

Jason saw Peter and walked over to him, reaching out to touch him. He wanted to feel Peter, to feel a sense of stability as the world around him burned.

“Don’t…” Peter said, pulling back.

Jason was so desperate. He placed his hand on Peter’s face. “Peter, I don’t know what’s going on...you gotta help me!”

Peter couldn’t help but melt into Jason’s touch momentarily, but then snapped out of it. “I tried…” he said sadly, unable to hold back his distressed tears.

Jason grabbed his arm, not willing to lose him. “I know, I know, and I’m so sorry. God, I fucked everything up! But I can’t lose you, Peter. Please.”

“You lied to me Jason! Over and over again! To everyone!”

Jason felt tears on his cheeks. It was finally hitting him how badly he had hurt the one person he couldn’t live without. “God, Peter, I know! And I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you.” He grabbed Peter’s shoulders. “Please, let me show you what you mean to me. I love you so much, Peter. Just please, I need help.”

He paused for a moment, looking at Jason’s eyes. His big blue eyes that always made him feel so safe, and he saw so much fear. Peter was angry, he was hurt, but more than anything he wanted everyone to be okay. “Alright.”

Jason’s eyes somehow got bigger. “Alright?”

“Dammit, I shouldn’t do this, but I’m weak and you’re the love of my life, Jason. I’ll stick with you through everything. Even if it kills me.”

Jason pulled Peter in and kissed him as if his life depended on it. As if closing the distance between him and the boy he loved was the only way to make sense of everything that was happening. He pulled back from the kiss and embraced Peter. “Thank you,” he said softly. “I meant it when I said we were soulmates.”

Peter smiled into Jason’s neck. “I know.” He took Jason’s face and moved it back so he could look into his eyes. “We’ll figure this out, okay? We can do this. Just promise me you won’t lie anymore. Promise me we’re in this for good.”

“I promise, Peter. God, do I promise… I swear I’ll make this up to you.”

“I know you will.”

Then they walk off holding hands and live happily ever after yayayayayayayay what a better ending.


	2. 2

Peter was swinging the wooden stick in his hands at the piñata and missing by a long shot. He saw his best-kept-secret boyfriend. He offered up the stick for Jason to have a go at the piñata. Jason declined. “You don’t wanna play?” Peter asked, flirtatiously.

Jason walked away, Peter in tow. “Nah,” he said, amused. “Why are you so happy?”

“I wish your piñata were that big,” Peter said slowly, seemingly forgetting his surroundings, thrusting into Jason and trying to put his hands on his ass.

Jason pried Peter off and saw the brownies in his hands. Now it made sense: Peter was high. “You do know those are pot brownies? Ya goof…” Jason laughed.

“Oops…” Peter looked down at his hands in wonder, as if that were the first time he’d seen them. Then his mind very quickly moved on. “I want to go back to the rave...” Peter started, putting his arms around Jason. 

Jason pushed down Peter’s arms, trying not to make a scene. 

“...The two of us dancing together, out there in the open!” Peter continued, again leaning into Jason, just wanting to be close to the boy he loved, not realising in his inebriated state the danger of acting this way in public. 

Jason moved Peter and himself away from their friends, trying to avoid the judgmental gaze of their peers. 

“So then what’s stopping us now?” Peter reached for him. “I hear our song on the radio, and I don’t care who knows!”

He was trying to be gentle with Peter as the latter repeatedly attempted to be held by him, but they couldn’t be seen being anything other than best friends. He did not hide his annoyance in the least. “Lower your voice!” he whispered harshly, enunciating each word. “What is wrong with you?” He couldn’t keep himself from getting angry.

Peter, on the other hand, was so desperate to love and be loved right then and there. He was extremely high and the looming threat of social persecution meant nothing to him in that moment. “I think we’re missing so much!” Peter seemed as though he might cry. “Jason, I wish I could shout it! Shout how much I love you!”

At that, Jason saw Ivy drift near and took that as an opportunity to push his clingy boyfriend aside and approach her. “Hey,” he said, adopting his straight-man voice.

“Hey…” Ivy pointed the piñata stick probably stolen from one of the classrooms towards Jason. “Are you any good with a stick?” Her voice was oozing with alcohol and the perceived need for sex so many young girls felt when deprived of compassion.

Jason, ever the gentleman, took this as an opportunity to prove his heterosexuality. “What have you heard?” he asked suggestively.

She laughed. “Come help me.”

“Sure, give me one sec.” Ivy departed, enticing Jason with an intense gaze and smile.

Peter put his hand on Jason’s back. “Don’t go,” he pleaded.

Jason spun around. “Peter, stop!” he snapped.

“God, but the rave--”

“--was different!” he interrupted. “We don’t live at a rave! Look, you’ve got to stop acting like this,” he said, watching Peter’s eyes turn to hurt and anger. 

“Like what? Your boyfriend?”

He said nothing, just watched Peter walk away. He scoffed, trying to brush off any guilt he had, and turned his attention back to his beard.

“Is he okay?” Ivy asked, referring to Peter.

“Yeah, he’s just fucked up,” Jason said, laughing, as if he didn’t give a shit. But of course, he did.

Ivy’s voice dropped to a seductive whisper. “Well, that makes two of us.” She lightly tapped the piñata with the stick she was still carrying.  
Matt, Ivy’s most faithful admirer, came up behind Jason. “Dance with me,” he said to Ivy.

She put her hands on Matt’s chest. “Next song,” she said, smiling.

“Okay.” Matt didn’t move.

“Matt,” Ivy started, straightening his jacket, “next song. I’ll find you.”

“You might not,” Matt persisted. “Anyway, I was thinking later that we could--”

“Matt, I’m talking to later,” Ivy interrupted, pushing Matt back with her stick. She gestured for him to leave, and he obliged. She turned back to Jason. “Let’s make ‘later’ ‘sooner’.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and grabbed a hold of his tie. “A minute can crawl by when you have something you want real bad.” She rolled up his tie, pulling herself closer as she did. He reciprocated the movement, smiling down at her. She draped his tie over her shoulder, leaning into him, and continued. “I spent the whole party waiting for us to be alone. But then, you must have known… Or perhaps, you haven’t noticed how I stare… Are you scared?”

Ivy started rubbing her hands on his chest and arms as she spoke, and Jason lightly brushed her off, but kept a hold of her hand. “Why should I be frightened?” he asked, playfully.

“I don’t know… But still, I can see it in your eyes. Please say you’re not surprised…”

“At what?”

“That I want to kiss you.” She put her fingers on his lips, laughing. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.”

This was his way out: this tall, beautiful girl with long black hair and a body he knew any guy in school would love to touch. Maybe, he thought, every boy in the school had touched her. He could do it too. He could be normal. He could pretend.

And then he thought of Peter. How hurt he looked. How Jason had ditched his very high, very upset boyfriend, to go flirt with a girl. He knew this would hurt Ivy, would hurt Matt, and would hurt Peter. Was he really that selfish? He had to turn her down and go find Peter before he did anything stupid. “You’re wasted, and this is wrong,” he said to Ivy.

“But why?”

“Because I would be taking advantage of you if we did anything while you were like this. And it could wreck a friendship. Come on, I’ll walk you back to your room. I need to get going.”

She looked slightly disappointed, but then giggled. “Okay,” she whispered, hoping for something more to happen on the way.

But nothing happened. Jason dropped off his friend and made sure she was okay. Then he went to search for Peter.

It didn’t take long for him to find Peter sitting alone in the front pew of the church, chugging a bottle of wine. It was almost completely dark, save for the moonlight coming through the windows.

Jason sighed with relief that Peter was okay. Then he checked to make sure no one was around and kneeled in front of him. “Hey,” he said softly. Peter didn’t look up, so Jason tilted the boy’s head up and made him meet his gaze. His eyes were sad and tired and glazed over from the weed and wine. 

They didn’t say anything. Peter took another swig from the wine bottle and Jason intervened. “I feel like you’ve had enough of drugs and alcohol for one day, so I’m just gonna take this.” He pried the bottle out of his boyfriend’s hands.

Peter resisted, but then loosened his grip and let the bottle be taken from him, pouting. 

“Where’d you get the wine, anyway?” he asked, setting down the bottle and putting his hands on Peter’s knees.

“Matt,” Peter mumbled.

“Oh. Matt was here?”

Peter nodded.

Jason couldn’t keep a slight anxiety from rising within him. He didn’t like that Matt got Peter even more fucked up, and he definitely didn’t like the thought of a stoned, drunk, and angry Peter talking to Matt and possibly letting a few things slip. “What did… you guys talk about?” he asked, trying to hide his worry.

“I don’t know,” Peter said, and then laughed once, dryly, before growing serious again. “I didn’t tell him anything.” And he was telling the truth.

“Oh.” Jason was relieved. They sat in silence for a second. “Thank you,” he added finally. He moved to sit next to Peter on the bench. He really shouldn’t have gotten mad at Peter for acting the way he did when he couldn’t control his actions. He didn’t even mean to get high. Jason laughed quietly to himself. Only Peter -- his trusting, naive Peter -- would eat an entire plate of brownies without even considering that all of their druggie friends might have put pot in them. God, he loved that boy. “So… why did you come here?”

Peter sighed. “To pray. Or repent or whatever the fuck. Clearly God doesn’t give a shit though, so…”

They were both quiet for a bit.

“I’m sorry,” Jason said, breaking the silence. He wanted to reach out and touch Peter, but he knew he had to say a few things beforehand. “I just can’t risk anyone finding out about us. I’m not ready, Peter.”

Peter sighed. “I know. ‘M just tired o’ hiding,” he said, slurring his words.

“I know. But it’s worth it, Peter. We’re worth it. Whatever happens, we’ll be together. We’ll get through it. We’ve made it this far, right?” Jason bumped his shoulder against Peter’s, trying to make him feel his presence. Feel that he was there and wasn’t going anywhere.

Peter nodded. He put his head on Jason’s shoulder, and Jason took that as an opportunity to wrap his arms around Peter and pull him into his body. Peter rested his head on Jason’s chest, feeling warmth and safety wash over him. His eyelids were heavy, and Jason was so warm…

“Okay,” Jason laughed, pulling Peter’s shoulders back and startling him awake. “I think it’s time for bed. Let’s get back to the room, huh? We don’t need to sleep out here.”

Peter nodded and Jason helped him back to their little safe haven. Despite the eventfulness of the day, Jason felt calm and somewhat content. He knew Peter would wake up with a killer headache in the morning, and he knew he might not remember what they had talked about. He knew there would be more fights. He knew they weren’t even remotely out of the clear. He knew there would be seemingly insurmountable obstacles before even the slightest glimpse of stable safety and happiness. 

He also knew that he and Peter were strong. That their bond was strong. And he knew, above all else, that they would get through this, because at the end of the day, they were just two boys in love. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

and EVERYTHING WAS OKAY they were together forever they own a farm and are happy and gay the end


	3. 3

“Hey, Ivy, let’s use a condom.”


	4. 4

“What was that about?” Peter asked, not understanding why the hell he had just had to break Jason and Matt up from a fight scene that escalated into an actual fight.

“I don’t know,” Jason said, chuckling incredulously.

Peter closed the distance between them. “Well, listen, I had the craziest dream—or vision—last night. I saw the virgin Mary and she was black, and she had these… these angels who were, like, backup singers. And anyway, she told me that I need to tell my mother about us, so what are you doing for spring break?”

Jason laughed, assuming he was joking. Peter had the weirdest fucking dreams, he had to know better than to take them seriously. “Right,” he said, putting his hands on Peter’s arms. “Let’s go. We’re gonna be late for class.” He started walking away.

“Jason, stop. Listen to me.”

“What? You’re kidding, right?”

“No. I need to tell her. I need her to know. And I need you there when I do it.” Peter grabbed Jason’s hands.

Jason shook his head. Peter could be so foolish, so unbelievably naive. He wanted to give up everything for a dream. “You can’t ask that of me, Peter. Not right now. I’m not ready. If you tell your mother about us, she’ll call my mother, who will immediately tell my dad, and the two of them will rush down here to conference with Father. Then I’ll either have to say goodbye to Notre Dame, or my dad will just beat the shit out of me and then disown me.”

Peter thought for a moment. It wasn’t fair of him to push Jason out of the closet, but Peter himself was desperately needing to bust out. How could he tell his mother and still protect Jason? “What if I just tell my mom about me and not about you?”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “How would that work?”

“I would just tell her that I’m, you know, and then not say anything about you or about us. That way I can be out and you can stay in until you’re ready. If anyone asks me about you, I’ll deny it.”

Jason nodded. “I guess that’s an option.”

“Yeah. But I still need you there when I do it. I can’t do this alone.”

“Peter, I want to support you, but if I’m there, don’t you think that might raise some suspicions?”

Peter once again considered his options. Then he looked excited. “I’ll tell her over the phone! We can be in our room and you can be with me, and she doesn’t even have to know you’re there. Please, Jason. Even if she did have suspicions, my mom will either accept me or… Peter looked down and his voice grew quiet. “…or she’ll be so ashamed of me that she won’t tell anyone anyway.”

Jason squeezed Peter’s shoulder. “Okay,” he said.

Peter instantly looked up, beaming. “Really?”

“Really.” Jason was just happy to see how hopeful Peter looked. He hadn’t seen Peter look that way in as long as he could remember.

Peter threw his arms around Jason. “Thank you. I’ll tell her after break.”

Jason cleared his throat signaling that someone was walking by. The two separated.

“I love you so much,” Peter whispered.

Jason leaned in, making sure no one would hear. He smiled. “I love you, too, Peter.”

They realised they would be late for class, and hurried off. But really, they didn’t care all that much. Both boys were just feeling a lot happier than they had been earlier that day.

…after spring break…

“Peter, sit down.”

Peter was pacing back and forth around their small room, only becoming more panicked with each stride. “I don’t know if I can do this, Jason.”

Jason got up from where he was seated and went to Peter, sitting him down on his bed. He sat next to him.   
“Then you don’t have to.”

Peter sighed, staring at his phone. “Yes, I do.” His hands were shaking as he tried to dial the number, but he couldn’t bring himself to press call. “Jason? Can you help me?”

Jason took a deep breath, placed his hand on Peter’s and moved the boy’s fingers to hit the call button. The phone immediately began ringing and Jason interlocked their fingers. Peter put the call on speaker so Jason could hear.

“Hello?” Claire’s overly peppy voice came piercing through the tension in the air.

Peter cleared his throat. “Mother, I need to talk to you…”

Peter was interrupted. “Peter! Honey, I was just gonna call you!”

“...There’s something that you need to know…”

And again. “Gone a week, I miss you already…”

“I’m just gonna spit it out…”

“How are rehearsals going?”

This was hard for Jason to listen to. He squeezed Peter’s hand in reassurance and a reminder that he was there.

Peter continued. “You probably guessed it years ago. Still it’s kinda hard to say…”

The desperation to avoid the subject was clear in Claire’s shrill voice. “Peter, we’re so excited about the play!”

“It’s something that I spent so long not saying…”

“I called your father, he swore he’d be there.”

“Sometimes it’s on the tip of my tongue, but only spoken aloud alone… While I’m praying…” Jason lowered his head in slight shame, knowing he hadn’t exactly been helping Peter with the internalised hatred surrounding his sexuality lately.

“I’d like to tape it, but honestly, Peter, I’m not going to be one of those parents.”

It was so obvious what Peter was trying to say, Jason thought. If only his mother would shut up for two seconds and let him speak… Jason held on to Peter’s hand tightly, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

Peter was persistent. “All I ask is an open mind…” 

“Peter, perhaps now isn’t the best time…”

“It’s such a lonely bridge to cross…”

Claire grasped for an excuse. “I’m taking Nana to lunch.”

“I search for answers on my own…”

“She’s so proud of you, Peter!” Guilt tripping instead of acknowledging the topic. Peter was getting increasingly stressed.

“...and find that I’m completely lost. Mom, please don’t say anything else. Just listen. I don’t know where to start. God, I can’t get the words out; it’s like they’re all jumbled together.” Peter looked at Jason who nodded, and he continued. “Mom, I love you, and—“

“Berkeley took their waitlist. When they called I almost died! Would you really go to Berkeley? I didn’t know that you’d applied!”

“Mom, please listen to me…”

“Where did Notre Dame go? I didn’t know that you withdrew. People will be disappointed, have you really thought this through?” The accusatory spin on her question was undeniable.

“Mom, this is important! Mom, you need to listen! Please don’t shut me out here! Mom, you need to see me!” Peter begged. “I’ll still go to Notre Dame, but this isn’t about that! Please, just listen to me!”

“Peter, please, I’m so busy here! Let me call you later, dear.”

“God this is so hard to say! I’m so afraid you’ll turn away. Mom, I’m—”

“Peter, please, I need a break! Whatever this is will have to wait. I’m going to hang up now. I really need to hang up now.”

“Don’t hang up, this took such courage!” Peter was crying. Jason put his left arm around Peter’s shoulders and squeezed Peter’s right arm with his free hand. “I’m dying here, I’m all alone! I know you know, you know, what I’m saying! Just let me say it! Mom, I’m—”

“Peter, please, I can’t solve all your problems!”

“Mother, you know nothing of them! And I’m not expecting you to find solutions, just to be my mom and my friend… See me…” Peter pleaded.

“I assure you I’m in no state of mind to discuss anything right now.” As if she’d ever be in a state of mind to discuss something like this.

“...I’ve been waiting to tell you this since I was 12…”

Claire was silent for a moment. “Peter, I’m going to go now.”

Jason could see Peter crumble. Any hope he had was gone. “You don’t want to hear it…” he said. “You don’t want to see me… Can’t bear to see me…”

“Peter, you tend to dramatise.”

Peter scoffed dryly. “There’s a reason for that, Mother. Open your eyes!”

“Peter, please, I have to go now. I really need to go right now.” She added some softness to her voice. “I’ll call you.”

“When, mom, when are you going to call?”

“Soon, Peter, this week, this weekend!”

“We can work this out together!”

The softness was gone. “Maybe by then you’ll work whatever this is out!”

“This is always on my mind!”

“I have so much on my mind!”

“Please, don’t hang up!”

“I have to go.”

“Please… see… me…” Peter said quietly, but his mother was already gone.

Peter dropped his phone on the ground. He sat there, staring at it. He couldn’t believe that conversation. He couldn’t believe his own mother could abandon him for such a natural feeling that he had always known. He was utterly alone.

But then he remembered that he wasn’t alone. “Come here,” Jason said softly, and he pulled Peter into him.

Peter immediately caved, sobbing. Jason hadn’t had much hope that their parents could accept them, but he had felt Peter’s hope, he had believed that maybe it was possible that their parents’ love for their children was stronger than the church’s hatred towards people like them. But once again, all they had was each other, and it broke his heart to watch Peter’s mother break the heart of her own son, the boy Jason loved.

“Hey,” Jason said, pulling Peter back to look at him. He wiped the tears off of Peter’s face. “You did it.”

“But it was for nothing!”

“No, it wasn’t, because you did it, Peter. You told her. She knows. And she can’t take that away from you.”

“She’s never going to accept me.”

Jason paused. “She might. And if she doesn’t, then fuck her. Fuck anyone who would cast you out of their lives. You’re stronger than me, Peter. You always have been.”

Peter shook his head.

“It’s true. And what you did today just proves how strong you are. You didn’t give up when she pushed back. You fucking did it. I’m sorry it went so terribly, but I am so proud of you. And I love you.”

Peter put his head back on Jason’s chest. “I love you. Thank you for being here with me.”

“I’ll always be here for you,” Jason said, rubbing his back. “Just like you’ll always be here for me.” 

And they were and everything was okay and they lived happily ever after yEET


	5. 5

“Hey, Lucas, do you have the… stuff?”

“Yeah, about that, the amount you asked for could take down a horse. I don’t give that much to anyone, especially someone as upset as you. You wanna talk, bro?”


End file.
